Monday, January 31, 2005
Crashed MI today again.
Along with Andrea Hui Hui.
Who apparently captured the attention
of a number of people..
HMMMM.
Hahahah. Well well.
Played bball today.
Finally! After such a long time.
Was considering taking up bball
as a cca again in CJ..
But aiyah, see how it goes. :|
Watched Shall We Dance? today!
I never expected it to be this sweet.
I anticipated it to be boring actually.
Hah, but it turned out pretty nice.
Tricia was damn funny la.
Her thoughts are extreme and exaggerated.
Warped thoughts her mind conceives. :|
Well, had fun with her today.
Think I left a rather bad impression of myself tho.
And I find it quite inconceivable
that I actually told her the 'happenings'
that occured in my life.
I don't even know much about hers la.
Just a little here and there only.
Nonetheless, she's great company. :)
Honestly..
Never quite thought we'd end up being friends afterall.
I'm just really glad we are. :D
Okay, Im going back to do my research
on the Economy of China.
SIGH.
School school school...
10:35 PM
Ahhh.
The disappointment love brings.
Friends are still the best. :)
1:50 AM
Sunday, January 30, 2005
Emily hasn't contacted us
ever since she left.
And I've absolutely no idea
how to keep in touch with her,
now that she doesn't have a phone,
nor can she come online.
I just hope Aussie's treating her well.
Whenever Chang talks about her,
I have to grapple with the tears.
It just doesn't seem right
now that she's not here anymore.
Soon, Andrea and Cart will be leaving.
I really dread for that day to arrive.
Sigh, I hate departures in life.
Emily,
I miss you.
Everyday, I do.
Very much. :(
1:09 PM
Today's a good day.
Very good day. :D
Went to katong for a haircut.
Then went down to Suntec to find pam,
and then to town to find Flo, Winnie, & Dor.
Nice bunch to hang out with. :)
Think linda was quite pissed with me
cos I kinda flattened my hair
after she styled it,
and I went back to have it restyled again. :|
Anyway!
My hair's awfully short now.
Although Tricia claims it's of no diff.
Haha, YES.
I met tricia today. :D
Thought it would have been pretty awkward,
but it turned out quite well.
Had fun, had fun.
But had to go back early today.
Quarrelled with mom this afternoon.
And I reneged on my word,
saying that I'd send dawn to the airport,
just because mom was pissed.
Feel really awful about it.
Sorry hun. :|
Well well,
Hopefully tomorrow will be a good day too.
I think it will be,
cause I'm gonna see my hun! :D
I wanna meet up with Andrea and the rest though.
Twits outing soon yes!! :)
1:58 AM
Friday, January 28, 2005
Today was simply PERFECT.
Other than my teacher finding out
that I've been skipping lessons.
ANYWAY. that's not the point.
My day started off to a lovely start.
FINALLY, I am noticed by
her.
After so freaking shit long.
Yes, I'm that insignificant. :But I'm still elated anyway.
Just because we had eye contact this morning,
I was euphoric the entire day.
The magic eye candies perform.
:) :) :)
And to elevate my euphoria to another level,
I gathered my guts and received
her contact.
Didn't give her mine though.
Lalalala.
I'm just really fortunate and in bliss.
I can't be more happy than this.
It's a happy happy day. :D :D :D
11:36 AM
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Had oodles of fun the past 2 days,
which was exactly what I needed.
Thanks to Dawn and Jen.
And of course, Changity Chang.
Am really glad I talked to Jen.
Missed her quite a bit really.
Love the conversations that
we used to frequently have.
I'm rather contented now. :)
Just that,
I miss Em,
a lot.
Really do. :'(
11:53 PM
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Just came back from the airport.
Emily has left.
It honestly didn't feel as though
she was, for the past few days.
It felt as if she's gonna come back
in a couple of week max.
I even had doubts that I would cry.
I didn't sleep a wink last night.
Was up trying to complete Em's farewell gift.
I hope with all my heart she'll like it
despite it being such a grosteque.
Skipped the last lesson of today,
simply because my eyelids kept giving in.
The only lesson I stayed entirely awake
and was focused on, was Mass PE.
Other than that, you'll see me nodding off.
And I think I'm gonna get caught this time.
Detention, here I come. :|
Well, when I reached the airport,
along with Andrea, Cart, and Wanyi,
Em was already in tears.
And somehow, it still hurts me a lot
to witness her in that state.
But that phase was soon over and
there was a mass gathering at the
food court at Terminal One.
I think it's the liveliest that
Food Court has ever been. :|
It was only when all of us started
walking towards the Departure Hall
that I started to succumb to my tears.
I thought I'd brace myself for it,
but it's just too much for me to handle.
And I cried.
Just cried there, in front of everyone.
When I've never permitted myself
to cry in public before.
When Em started crying,
my heart could have collapsed.
At that point of time,
everything seemed to heavy for me to carry.
When she came over for our last hug goodbye,
(at least for this year)
I just wished, wished so much,
that time would stop just then,
and let me revel in its fullness.
I even wanted to pull her back
as she entered the immigration gates.
Yes I'm crazy.
I just do not want her to leave.
I miss you, Em.
So much already.
I want you to come back.
:( :( :(
11:06 PM
Monday, January 24, 2005
My throat really hurts
at this current moment.
And I think I know why.
CHERYL CHANG. :|
1:21 AM
I miss her.
1:14 AM
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Had fun today!! :D
Went out with sasa to study at j8.
Studied for a couple of hours,
and I realised I'm gonna flunk Geog tmr.
So, I don't think I should attend sch.
Right right right?
besides, I've more impt things to do.
So.
We went to watch Hotel Rwanda.
Indeed it was a silent massacre.
I never knew such tragedy happened.
I've always thought news like this
would spread like wildfire and
it would be on everyone's lips.
It's a rather good movie.
Really saddening though.
Sasa was squeezing my hand all the way.
Hahaha, that silly huku.
Had fun with sasa today.
Great time talking to her.
Nonsense la she.
AND I BET SHE LOVED MY COMPANY TOO.
Wahahahaha.
Who knew things would turn out this way
for the both of us?
:)
10:29 PM
I woke up to a very bad start today.
Was moody throughout the entire day
albeit I met up with Em and the rest.
I guess it just struck me really hard
that Em's gonna be leaving on Tues.
I really don't wish for her to go.
Just thinking about it causes
tears to well up in my eyes,
and I absolutely abhor it.
Why do people I love have to leave?
Why why why?
Andrea's gonna be leaving next.
So is Carmen.
I just wish time could stop right now.
That tomorrow will still be 22nd Jan.
I cried to sleep on 24th April,
when you told me we shouldn't go on.
I cannot imagine how it'd be,
now that you'll be leaving
and I'll hardly have much chances
to see you so often again.
Well, quarrelled with Chang today.
I think I got Doreen upset too.
I'm sorry, laoma.
But dawn and sasa soon came,
and "saved the day".
Hahaha. Quite hilarious la.
Despite the solemnity of it all,
they were still giggling and chattering
at one side of the table,
living in their own world of gibberish,
and disturbing us, making us laugh.
Thanks hun, Thanks sasa.
Love you both. :)
So, we went over to Dawn's place,
and played Mahjong!
Love the company, love the game.
We should have another session soon.
Had sooooo much fun.
Oh, and I love cheryl's voice today.
SOOOOO FEMININE!
Well well,
it's a bad day turn good afterall.
Praise God. :)
1:25 AM
Saturday, January 22, 2005
ehh ehhh ehhhh.
Who is :B ???
and to your entry,
wo hai hao. :)
And today,
I've become a serious fuckwit.
Also,
I realised I'm the silliest dope
on the surface of this earth.
Really.
1:42 AM
Thursday, January 20, 2005
The reason why love exists,
is because of the goodness of people.
And I sincerely believe that there
is good in everyone of us.
For we were meticulously crafted
in the image of God.
Despite how much one has lapsed,
committed innumerable mistakes,
contravened certain tenets,
harbored nefarious thoughts,
(yes I have harbored many)
and despite how evil reality may portray us.
Prior to this entry,
I've stated my perception on changes.
And I would like to endorse it further.
When it was the naissance of our life,
the moment when we breathed our first,
do you honestly think there were
any forms of evil depicted in us?
We were flawless, unblemished, spotless.
Not really la, we had blood all over,
but that's not the point.
ANYWAY.
If we were once saturated with pure goodness,
and what is a part of us will always remain,
how can you possibly think that
there was no good in yourself to begin with?
You, as a whole may not be perfect,
but there are edges that comprises your being
that are simply impeccable.
2:43 PM
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
I was talking to dawn earlier
about a certain someone,
and some thoughts struck me instantaneously.
Albeit it's true that nth ever remains static,
and it's also true that one changes
under certain circumstances in life.
And it suddenly struck me that,
even though the person you once knew
may have metamorphose into someone else.
And that his/her personality may
have undergone alterations bad or good.
I believe that somehow,
if it was ever there to begin with,
it'll always remain there,
no matter how much it is concealed
by the present reality.
And as long as it is a part of you,
that trait will reveal itself again.
Take it from this aspect.
Each day we live will never be recovered.
Even so, it does not exactly get forgotten,
but it still remains as part of our lives.
The part whom we regard as Memories.
And memories, we often look back on.
Am I making sense?
Maybe not.
Aiyah. stupid stupid.
Belle should just shut up.
11:36 PM
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Mass PE today was a blast.
We were made to climb over the sch's gate
and run to the bus-stop outside sch.
Wahaha, now I know how to escape. :D
After which, we climbed down a drain
and literally crawled through its tunnel.
It was PITCH BLACK and filthy la!
with all the cobwebs hanging around,
and drain water running beneath our feet.
When I finally emerged out,
I had white stuff all over my hair
and my shoes were wet.
Oohlala. :D
THEN.
we went to some fitness corner
which i never knew existed.
behind some of the classroom blocks i think.
We were made to clear the wall
which was about.. 2m tall?
Don't know la, but it was darn high.
Apparently only Amanda and don't know who else cleared
amongst all the girls.
And when it came to my turn to do so,
Hah, yes you're darn right,
I didn't manage to jump up on time,
sooooooooooooo...
I ran straight into the wall instead.
SHIT FREAKING EMBARRASSING LA.
And my PE teacher was mocking me.
ARGHHH.
The impact was really.... OUCH.
Oh, and Em crashed CJ today!!
Was so happy to see her la.
If only I could school with the rest too.
ohwell.
Hockey training tmr.
HELP HELP HELP.
I feel like switching CCAs.
But my eye candy's there!!
Not that I like her, nono.
I think about somebody else.
wahahaha.
K BYE!
5:52 PM
Monday, January 17, 2005
I miss Dawn Lee!
And I think there was a similar
entry to this not long ago. :|
SIGH.
Ohwell.
10:37 PM
One of these days
You'll miss your train, and come stay with me
It's always say goodnight and go
We'll have dreams and talk about things
And any excuse to stay awake with you
You'd sleep here, I'd sleep there
But then the heating may be down again
At my convenience
We'd be good, we'd be great together
Go
Why'd you have to be so cute
It's impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much
It's bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go
Why is it always you
Darling not again
10:24 PM
To like?
Or not to like?
Like?
Or not to like?
To like?
or don't like?
Like?
Don't like?
Like.
Don't like.
Don't like?
Like?
ARGHHHHHHHHHH!!!
SLEEP. -___-
10:16 PM
I absolutely agree with Andrea
with regardation to
"Don't let your heart rule your head,
but the other way around."
Thanks dear,
I think I'm gonna relinquish
and suppress my likings for awhile.
Belle is lacking much fortitude.
What happened to the resilience?
I have no clue.
This rips.
Falling in love is a silly game.
But I'm a fool once again.
6:59 PM
Everyone is issued to their own right
in having their own predilection and
choices to whom they shall like.
Each human being is an individual,
who has their own edges of personality.
If all human beings are akin to one another,
the world would be too mundane for existence.
Because of these different personalities,
and since everyone has a different scope
in how they view the world,
you cannot force someone to be
morphed into someone they are not.
Instead,
they are the different shades of colours
that add vibrance to this black n white world.
-- My perspective in regardation
to the issue of homosexuality.
What do you think?
1:02 AM
Sunday, January 16, 2005
I love all my friends so, so much.
Andrea, Cart, Cheryl, Doreen, Emily,
Joyce, Nat, Rachel, Sem, Wanyi.
Every single one of them.
10 inimitable individuals
encapsulates the quintessence of
happiness.
Despite our differences,
flaws, and whatnots,
life's meaning would be incomplete
if anyone of you is absent in it.
Andrea, Cart, & Em,
I'll miss you everyday.
very much.
10:36 AM
Saturday, January 15, 2005
Replies to entries.
Sasa: aye, you stop bullying my friend k.
haha, mean ass. she's sick to the bone alr la.
anw, I agree. you should ask us out soon.
We're such fun-loving people, aren't we? :D
Dawn: why cannot have korean bbq?
Do you wanna have some?
I can keep the leftovers for you.
It'll be no sweat at all, really.
Hahaha, just kidding la.
Next time invite you over instead la k?
You, bernie, kyna, and that moronic sasa. :D
10:24 AM
Korean barbeque in 18 hours!
Everyone's coming down to my place!
I'm quite excited!
More of exhausted, but heck.
It's gonna be a good good day.
I'm gonna enjoy myself thoroughly.
Affirmative and resolute.
:D :D :D
1:03 AM
Friday, January 14, 2005
belle's enjoying the privilege
of a simulated illness that
provided her with a fraud mc.
hehe.
Went to crash MI yesterday,
and was supposed to go today too.
Apparently, my exhausted state
hinders me to do so.
I really wanted to head down
to see huijiun today.
Ahh shucks.
Just hope I'd bump into her soon.
Anyway, I enjoyed myself yesterday.
If only the rest of my friends
were enrolled in CJ as well.
I'd feel much more at ease.
Nevertheless,
I'm beginning to enjoy attending CJ
with all my classmates.
All comprised of different colours
to their individual personalities.
I'm quite happy, really. :)
The only issue I've trouble with in CJ,
is irrefutably the workload.
bahhh.
The feeling of dithers tells me,
I'm enamoured with her.
10:28 AM
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Hockey Hockey Hockey.
how great art thou
to make my body ache like fuck.
Training was seriously much tougher
than I had anticipated it to be.
Especially when I haven't done
any sorts of vigorous training
for the past year or so.
But I did enjoy myself
whenever I wasn't made to run. :)
And I'm pretty amazed by the way
the Sec4s are studying for Os.
Or rather, their ambitions and goals.
Although I can't speak for the cohorde,
but I'm in knowledge of a few who are
striving hard to achieve their best.
The exact opposite of me last year.
My targets were set,
but my actions did otherwise.
I'm pretty trepidated in receiving my results.
Albeit I honestly hope I'd do well,
reality seems to portray otherwise.
Ahhhh well.
9:15 PM
Monday, January 10, 2005
First Official School Day.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
School ended only at 530pm today.
3 hours of geog SOLELY.
Attended 2 lectures,
and don't know how many tutorials.
Bombarded with tonsa research
as well as
HOMEWORK to do.
What the hell.
WHAT THE HELL.
There's Mass PE tmr.
I'm just gonna drop dead on the track.
Or maybe on the high steps that
I'll be made to climb continuously.
Believe me, I will.
Thank God school's ending at 330 tmr.
I miss GHIM MOH!!!!!!
School ended at 130 then.
:( :( :(
Let me retain Sec 4.
Please Please Please.
7:03 PM
You know,
it's really against my wishes
to let this friendship fall apart.
But there's a barricade which
prevents me from salvaging us.
A barricade that was built
whenever cracks suddenly unearth itself
from the seemingly smooth
surfaces of our relationship.
Cracks that inflicted hurt
that seeped deep into my bones.
I've always seen a Forever with you.
But that visage seems to be fading.
I don't want it to.
Never want it to.
I want that image back.
You were always the first I want to
share my joys and anguishes with.
It has never changed.
Neither has the love we shared.
I know.
But situations and circumstances did.
And just so you know,
behind the nonchalance i portray,
I really miss you so much,
it's tearing me apart from inside.
1:36 AM
Saturday, January 08, 2005
For the past few months,
I've undeniably metamorphosed
to the quintessence of selfish.
Having gone through the episodes
of feeling neglected, uncared for,
and even being taken for granted,
as if I was a forsaken island,
I've changed into someone who
thinks of herself most of the time.
It just dawned upon me that
those negatory thoughts and
those perhaps jaundiced emotions,
were absolutely superfluous.
In fact, they were reprehensible.
What's worse,
I allowed myself to loosen my grip
on some of the friendships that
meant the most to me.
Granting overpowering melancholy
to suffuse every part of myself.
Thank the Lord for Cheryl,
who has stood by me through this time.
Although we never proclaimed it,
I know we are the best of friends. :)
To the ones I've neglected
during that hedonistic period,
I miss you
terribly much.
Although I didn't divulge it,
I love you.
Truly, forever and always.
I'm sorry.
2:09 PM
It's the end of CJ's Orientation.
5 long and exhausting days of fun.
Okay fine, 3.
My classmates, albeit disparate,
are pretty easy to get along.
I'm glad and relieved.
CJ ain't as bad as I thought it'd be.
Just hope that I'll make more friends
during these 3 months.
Mass Dance was a mess,
but i still loved it anyhow.
The cheers are stuck in my head too,
especially the ah-beng cheer.
hahahahaha.
School officially starts next week though.
SIGH.
Oh, and I abhor my home tutor.
Everything she says has relation to A levels.
Give me a kitkat (please).
Ugh.
Well well,
now I'd have to choose between
Bball, Hockey & ODAC.
Most likely hockey though.
My eye candy's there.
hehehe. :D
Finally met up with xinying & merser today.
Met dawn, bernie & kyna after which.
Haha, rather interesting girls, I won't deny.
Ohwell.
Another day well spent.
Attending ODAC's Orientation tmr.
Hope I'll have loadsa fun,
and return home all wet and grimy! :D
1:55 AM
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Because I ain't able to contact you,
Happy 17th Birthday, wanqi!
Heh, I didn't forget.
Unlike you. :(
Haha, hope you had an enjoyable one.
Meet up one day, yes?
Tcare! :)
11:07 PM
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
1st day of orientation sucked.
Today was much better,
though I didn't have much fun.
Perhaps because belle's a loner there.
I really hope I'd fit in soon,
or I swear I'll just drop out.
:|
Going dragon-boating tmr!!
Something to look forward to.
Oh, and as for my classmates,
there are NO gd looking guys.
None. Zilch. Kosong.
Besides, there are only 5 of them.
Hmmm.
There are 2 retainees in my class.
A girl and a butch.
Quite out-spoken, quite alright. :)
Girls are pretty much fine too.
I'm sitting beside a pretty st nicks girl,
and a pretty indian from bartley.
The arrangement of pretty ugly pretty.
Ugly people are quite blessed afterall.
Oh, and I love the cheers,
the mass dance, and the campfire songs.
The president of the student council,
the one in charge of the orientation,
is pretty cool too.
Some seniors cute, some seniors hilarious.
Environment's pretty neat actually.
I think I just need friends.
I NEED FRIENDS.
I'M DESPERATE!!!!
WANYI!! PLEASE COME AND SAVE ME!!
10:52 PM
Sunday, January 02, 2005
Catholic Junior College.
That's where I'll be in 7 hours time.
Not sure if I'm gamed,
but hope I'll make some new friends.
Abandon the memories that hurt,
start afresh in this new year.
At least I had a wonderful start this year,
thanks to Andrea & Leona
for hosting such a great party.
Never knew I would have that much fun,
albeit I was dead drunk half the time.
Heh, thank you both much. :)
To the one I've been missing,
perhaps it's time for me to let go.
Maybe I'll feel more relieved after so.
At least that's what I hope.
Also, do think of me whenever
your mind's not occupied with smth else.
That's all I ask of you.
Farewell.
11:57 PM
